Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe

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(480): View more from Arizona

Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf

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(317): View more from Indiana

If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(410): View more from Maryland

Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?

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(512): View more from Texas

I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see

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(908): View more from New Jersey

You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.

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(425): View more from Washington

I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.

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