what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
