It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
