I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to