Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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