Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I understand Curling. That high.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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