a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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