thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
