He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
