CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
