i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
