You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
