So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize