Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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