I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
