one might say we're banned from that church
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
