I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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