Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I think I have vodka in my lungs
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
