dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
