Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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