It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
