Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
