Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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