are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We need a shit load of segways right now
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
