finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize