I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
True strength comes from lack of pants
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize