I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
honey bunches of taint.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
