I want to stick my p in your. b.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
