He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I will pee on everything he values.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
