i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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