Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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