Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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