So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
