that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
