Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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