this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
