Having a random hookup so left but love u
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
