okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
