Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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