You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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