trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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