I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
