My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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