Your face is a jimmy john
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
