2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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