wat bout pragnant strippers??
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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