ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
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