i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Randomize