I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
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i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
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I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
