it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
operation harelip BJ is a go
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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