Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
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FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse