his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US