No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
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Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
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I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride