We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful