yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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