I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
