It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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