Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize