turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize