No, drunk sperm still make babies.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
