Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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