Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
