Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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