I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
