She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
