Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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