I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
