I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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