yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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