i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
